kiss: move over love boat,
the kiss kruiser is coming

a work of fiction by: joel russell
super rock spectacular - spring 1979

put on your sailing outfits, the kiss kruiser is almost ready to roll.
read about kiss' plans to build their own luxury liner
and sail around the world with their fans as passengers.

get ready to take your vacation on a moment's notice. buy the suntan lotion, get the swimming trunks out of the moth balls. you're going on a cruise with the greatest group in the world, the one-and-only kiss.

you see, if things work out as planned, kiss will build their own luxury cruiser to take them around the world. they will perform super concerts on the vessel. you fans had better run to buy tickets for the cruise as soon as they go on sale. don't miss the experience of a lifetime. traveling around the world is a fantastic feat in and of itself, but going around the world with kiss is staggering.

the boys had the idea while thinking about where to take their next vacation. they have always wanted to go on a cruise. then gene came up with a brainstorm. why not build their own cruise ship--the ultimate in luxury--and take it around the world. then ace took the idea one step further. he figured that since kiss have so many fans, why not give them a chance to sail along with their idols. the guys could entertain them with great concerts at night--making it a kissaholic's dream.

they immediately contacted a shipbuilder to tell them what they wanted. just wait till you find out the fabulous details of the luxuries this ship will offer. it will be made to order for kiss fans. the guys hope to dub it the kiss kruiser. kiss will be everywhere--the ship will be a living document to their greatness.

first of all, the outside of the boat will be painted with a collage of kiss portraits. ace, gene, paul, and peter will each be immortalized in paint. their smiling faces will adorn the body of the ship. it will be a spectacular sight to behold. all kiss fans will just rave over it.

the inside of the ship will be something. pictures of kiss will be everywhere. in fact, everything on board will have the mark of kiss. the furniture will be upholstered in a special kiss fabric. the swimming pool will be in the shape of a guitar. the disco will have pulsating lights forming the images of our heroes. here, there, everywhere, it will be kiss.

the biggest news, however, is about the concert hall. it will be specially designed for kiss and their fans. it will seat 2,000, so that's how many people will get to go on the cruise with kiss. if you're the 2001st, forget it--you're out of luck. the acoustics will be fantastic. kiss fans will never again get to hear their favorites in such lush surroundings. the stage will be stupendous. and, best of all, due to the small capacity of the hall, you'll be closer to kiss than ever. you'll go mad.

now, about the destination. you'll journey with kiss around the world by boat. they'll stop at every major seaport the world over. you'll get to see all the places you've always read about but never imagined you'd get to. and you'll go there with kiss, isn't it almost too good to be true?

why, they're even going to china. imagine, being on the other side of the world with ace, gene, paul and peter. kiss will not only entertain you but they'll be your tour guides, as well. you'll be right next to them, talk with them, swim with them, eat with them--who knows what else. if you're a kiss fan, you just can't afford to miss it.

speaking about not being able to afford to miss it, perhaps you're wondering about the cost of this little venture. well, for starters, kiss will have to pay $44 million to have the ship built. they may have to borrow some money, but they are dedicated to seeing this project through.

as far as you, the loyal kiss fan is concerned, the boys still have not decided how much this terrific, tantalizing trip will cost the voyagers. however, they know their fans can't afford to spend a great deal of money, so they promise to do their best to hold down costs. but they still have to earn some money to pay off the huge some it will take to build the kiss kruiser.

so, start packing. as we said before, plans have to be finalized, but things are looking good. ace, gene, peter and paul have already told their managers to get ready to cancel some of their concert dates to prepare for the trip. they want to cook up a super-deluxe, special show for their fans. they promise to shock and exasperate their fans more than usual. they promise to come up with some new stage maneuvers which will really knock you all for a loop.

they also are thinking about recording their cruise shows for a new album. and this way, their fans who couldn't make the cruise will still able to hear what went on. they will perform all new material, so no one will want to miss hearing it.

there you have it--the hot scoop about kiss' plans for their own luxury liner and world tour. this has to be the biggest news to come out of the kiss camp in a long time. start saving up your money. it won't be all that long before you get the chance to sail with kiss. if you thought kiss had already done it all, you ain't seen nothing yet.

back to krazy kiss magazine articles